Dating after age 45

"Don't think of yourself as damaged goods, don't torture the new guy for your ex's misdeeds, and even though you're craving intimacy like chocolate cheesecake after a month of Atkins, don't give up the goods on the first date." Oh, and while you're at it, steer clear of these back-on-the-market buzz kills: How to spot him: He'll tell you within the first ten seconds that his wife ran off with her trainer. Why he's tempting: You have a common enemy: The ex.

And he can't wait to hear all the ugly details of your divorce.

I still feel anxious when I reject a woman's online invitation, or when a woman rejects mine.

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and I don't want mine hurt either.

We were the same age, both single parents, and we both consider "Yo, what's up? We seemed to know all the same girls, the same guys, the same music, the same lines. They told me about the girls they'd only sleep with and the ones they'd like to take home to meet me, their mom away from mom.

Meanwhile, my house was becoming headquarters for my nephew's friends, who'd visit Frankie and monitor him closely on his shaky road back to health. As the primaries wore on and election fatigue set in, the puppies and I compared notes on dating. When I was hurt, I learned not to call, text, instant message, or e-mail.

"But I steer clear of anyone who is harboring that much hostility toward their ex, because they obviously aren't ready for a new relationship." How to spot him: He'll nonchalantly work her into conversations: "My ex thinks I should buzz my hair," "When my ex and I were having lattes yesterday..." Why he's tempting: He sounds so enlightened!Editor’s Note: This is the second in a series of articles on sexuality and aging, co-produced by the National Sexuality Resource Center and Rewire. Check back in the coming weeks for more on seniors and sexuality. I had women pull me aside and, in hushed tones, tell me about "the Egyptian" — a mysterious, swarthy Pan. The last time I wasn't half of a couple, Boy George wore eyeliner. My adored nephew Frankie, who moved in with me after my adored husband moved out, learned on his 22nd birthday that he had cancer.Women spoke wistfully of their dates, which weren't so much "dates" as "appointments."I would have settled for a nonsensual magician at this point. Eventually, one of the candidates would win the election, otherwise known as my heart. Candi-date Number 2 was a Texas real estate entrepreneur.

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You think you've stumbled upon the most forgiving guy in America.

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