Eight rule for dating my daughter
This is something that was emailed to me a while back.I had a baby daughter in June of 1998 and the person who emailed the 8 rules thought I would get a kick out of it.My motto: wilt them in the living room and theyll stay wilted all night.
He would open the door an immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughters suitors feel even worse.
You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.
If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.
(Good luck.) Or maybe you once were a teenage daughter.
Or maybe you have an antique table that's crooked and need something about an inch thick to put under one of the legs.
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It is with this background that I am going to advance my own “Eight Rules.” Although you may suspect I have a very personal interest and, in fact, some personal gain in mind, I assure you that nothing could be further from the truth.