Funny dating advert
Must wear size five shoes." "When I was thirty my dates had to be young, tall, handsome, rich, intelligent.Now I'm 64, they only have to know how to read and use the telephone! They’re amazing; I’ll burn you a CD." "Normally on the first few dates I borrow mannerisms from the more interesting people I know and very often steal phrases and anecdotes from them along with concepts and ideas from obscure yet wittily-written books.Some willingness to assist with basic bodily functions required." "MWM, 73, looking for SWF 18-35 for an intimate encounter with my wife and myself in a threesome. The things she does with her teeth are out of this world, too, especially when their in her mouth. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand.I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, Call (xxx) xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy." Note: The ad above turned out to be an adoption offer for a black labrador retriever 8 week female from the Atlanta humane Society.It seems like these nine funny singles took things a little bit too far.Here are nine examples of how NOT to word your phone chat welcome message.Here are some women who probably don't fit that vision: Women typically live longer than men. It is healthy and normal for these ladies to seek out new love lives.Gone are the days when widows had to live out the rest of their lives alone. Sounds like the future men for these ladies will have their hands full though.
Some forums can only be seen by registered members.Creating Your Personal Ad Writing with Humour Arranging Your Humour Community Q&A Gone are the days when people looking to hook-up put a personal ad in the newspaper (“If you like pina coladas, getting caught in the rain …”). There are dozens of websites that claim they can find you the perfect partner, no matter what you’re looking to do with that partner.But if you want to make yourself stand out from the crowd, you may want to consider adding some humour to your profile or ad. seeking svelte, kinky sex vixen for impossible fantasy role play.Some willingness to assist with basic bodily functions required." "Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex and Herb Alpert albums." "I like eating mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches in the rain, watching Barney Miller reruns, peeing on birds in the park and licking strangers on the subway; you eat beets raw, have climbed Kilimanjaro, and sweat freely and often.